


Esperance

by ostentatiouslyrealistic



Series: The Different Phases [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:51:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ostentatiouslyrealistic/pseuds/ostentatiouslyrealistic
Summary: (n.) A dead word, esperance was a synonym of hope.





	Esperance

Pidge never understood why the castle rooms were so cold.

Well, she did. That being rhetorical, she knew that space being a freezing vat of nothingness played a big part as to why she couldn't feel her fingers at the moment, but she'd expected the advanced alien technology to at least regulate the temperature so that she wouldn't die from hypothermia. But to be fair, the castle _was_ ten thousand years old.

She blinked as the glint from her glasses flared within her vision. It sat a few inches away from her face as she lay on her side, blanket pulled up to her chin, cheek squished against the relatively firm pillow. The lenses were round, perfectly circular, and the thin frames shone a bright gold, reminiscent of the sun's glare when the light reflected properly.

No matter how hard she tried to keep them in prime condition, it wasn't surprising that after the multiple battles and journeys through space, they'd end up skewed. Being tossed around in the green lion's cockpit with glasses too big for her face, always meant that somehow, they'd be thrown off the bridge of her nose and somewhere onto the ground. The possibility of them coming out perfectly fine wasn't very high, to her dismay.

 Multiple times, Shiro had brought the concern up with her, in fear that she wouldn't be able to see during crucial moments in battle. But she always waved him off while pushing the crooked frames up her nose, saying that it'd be easy for her to repair them whenever. What she didn't tell him, or any of them, was that she didn't actually need them, per se.

Her vision was fine. 20/20. Perfecto. No problems at all. And yet, she wore them around all the time, to all her classes at the Garrison, all over the castle, into battle—they'd always be perched on her nose. To the point where she sometimes nearly deceived _herself_ that she needed them. In a way, they had become a part of her—a token of Matt.

After being booted from the school as Katie Holt, she'd gone in as Pidge Gunderson, easily manipulating the data from the system to match her new identity. The desperation to find her older brother had strengthened immensely when she discovered that he could potentially be alive.

She buried her face into her pillow, the memories from that one night replaying on a constant loop, shivering lightly as she curled into herself. The night when she became Pidge, discarding Katie until her family was once again together and whole.

She had, for the first time after the Kerberos disaster mission, traversed into Matt's room, gently pushing open the door, wincing when it creaked loudly from lack of use. Inside was clean, but lightly cluttered with mess. It smelled distinctly of the shampoo he'd always used and a hint of old books, as they lay in a neat stack next to his bed.

Matt.

She missed everything about him. From his gentle, unwavering support to his quirky, teasing nature that almost never failed to rile her up. He'd been the perfect definition of a caring older brother.

Shuffling her way deeper into his room, she tiptoed around the scattered books and papers that littered the ground. Equations were scribbled messily on multiple pages, and she could imagine him at his desk, on the carpet, lying on his bed, the pen poking against his cheek as he narrowed his eyes at the problems presented to him.

Something in the light caught her eyes, and she turned towards the desk. On top of a pile of paper, nearly indistinguishable from the pens, pencils, and paperclips that sat on top, lay his glasses.

Gingerly, she picked them up from the table, feeling her heart break just a little more as she ran a finger gently over the rim. His eyesight had never been the best, and judging from the scratches and smudges that smeared across the lenses, these were his old, discarded pair.

The determination came to her right then and there, his old pair of glasses pinched between her fingers, that she would search through every nook and cranny of the universe until she could find him and her father. She placed her thumbs on the glass, feeling the scratches scrape lightly against her fingertips. With a flick of her wrist, she pushed, and with a light _pop_ , the lenses fell out.

Later that night, she replaced them with two glass panels that she'd been saving up for another unfinished gadget.

Thus, Pidge Gunderson was born.

Shuffling underneath the covers, she brought her arm out from the warm, makeshift cocoon, and shivered as a blast of cold air prompted goosebumps to rise on her skin. With the pad of her index finger, she lightly traced the frames, barely noticing the cold metal drag across her skin.

Something hot slid across the bridge of her nose, and she suddenly felt congested. Her chest wracked with quiet tremors and with her other hand, she pulled the blanket tighter against her small frame. Maybe she was finally succumbing to the freezing temperatures aboard the castle.

But that wouldn't explain the tears that blotted hot and dark against the white sheets.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Pidge so, so much.
> 
> [tumblr](http://www.quiznaksicles.tumblr.com)


End file.
